They know what an iPod is — and sometimes how to use it.

They are on Facebook. They text. They are physically active.

They not only know Thomas the Tank Engine, but also his friends.

They are today’s grandparents, and they are hip.

“Growing up, I was pretty much scared of my grandmother,” says Rhonda Frazier of Charleston. “She was an authority figure, not a playmate.”

These days, however, grandparents are going out of their way to be friends with their grandchildren. They seek out mutual interests and go the extra mile to be involved.

It’s a good thing, too, because the grandparent/grandchild relationship is second in emotional importance only to the parent/child relationship, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Commission on Aging.

“I want my grandchildren to know I am there for them,” says Frazier.

Grandparents are no longer the stereotypical old folks with hearing aids and a cane. Instead, they are younger than ever.

A survey by grandparents.com showed that 37 percent became grandparents in their 40s and 43 percent in their 50s. The average age of grandparents in the United States is 48.

And they are active: 43 percent exercise or play sports and 28 percent volunteer regularly.

They also relish their role as a grandparent, with 72 percent thinking that being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life.

Sylvia Folk of Charleston, like 60 percent of the respondents in the survey, lives close to her grandchild.

“I thank God every day that my son and daughter-in-law live close by and let me be part of their lives,” says Folk, whose grandson, Landon, 4, lives with his parents in St. George. “I do with him all the same kinds of things I used to do with my children, except I don’t have all the burden of being the parent.”

This summer, Folk took a train trip from Charleston to Savannah and back with Landon and his parents, Daniel and Angel Folk, to indulge Landon’s love of Thomas the Tank Engine and trains. She also takes him to Chuck E. Cheese, Palmetto Islands County Park and on other outings.

“It’s so much fun visiting with him, interacting with him and seeing the world from his point of view,” she says.

Folk doesn’t see Landon every day, but for many years, Sally Evitt saw her five grandchildren every day. Like 72 percent of grandparents, she took care of them on a regular basis.

A retired preschool teacher, Evitt often kept her grandchildren, the youngest of whom is now 6, while their parents worked. In fact, the older three lived with her for a time. Even when they didn’t, Evitt and her husband, Troy, picked the children up from school, took them to church, went to their school programs, and were there for them in general.

Now, she runs a home daycare that often includes her 19-month-old great-granddaughter.

“We still do a lot for and with them,” she says.

Her oldest grandson, Timothy Hiott, and his wife, Katrina, live in California and are expecting a baby.

“I don’t have a computer or cell phone, but he calls me whenever he thinks about it,” Evitt says. “He knows that since they are having a baby, we are especially interested in hearing from him.”

Each of her grandchildren calls her by a different name, from mom to grandma to even Miss Sally.

“I’ll answer to most anything,” she says.

“I don’t care what they call me, as long as they call me.”

Many grandparents get wired so they can stay in touch with their grandchildren.

Three-fourths are online, according to the grandparents.com survey, and 45 percent use social media.

“Thanks to the Internet, we stay in contact even though my grandchildren live in Missouri,” Frazier says. “We even joined Facebook to help us stay in touch with them, so even if they don’t contact us directly, I can still see what they are up to. I really like that. It helps me feel like I’m part of their lives even though I only see them a few times a year.”

She says she and her husband, Donald, also stay in touch with their grandchildren via e-mail, phone calls and letter writing.

“Don even learned how to text on the cell phone so he can contact them,” she says.

Donald Frazier says he loves staying in touch with his grandchildren, and being a grandparent is easier than it was being a parent.

“Of course, we don’t have to deal with the day-to-day stuff, and mostly get to just spoil them,” he says. “We’re in a better position to do that now than we were when our own children were young.”

Grandparents control 75 percent of the wealth in the United States and spend $52 billion on their grandchildren every year, according to grandparents.com.

“We are able to set money aside for them to go to college and sometimes we help with other expenses, like paying for their activities. But mostly I just like to surprise them with gifts when they least expect it,” he says. “I think it’s fun for them to get some little trinket in the mail and know that their Grandpa and Grandma miss them.” *

Brenda Rindge can be reached at 937-5713 or at brindge@postandcourier.com.