Each month in this column, my goal is to be (relatively) honest about my shortcomings as a parent. I make fun of myself, my impatience and lack of organization. But deep down, I believe I’m a good mom. Well, I did until my son came home from 4K one day holding a card addressed to me.

It was crafted from a piece of construction paper. Flowers made of brightly colored tissue were glued on the front. I could tell he’d put a lot of thought into this gift. Inside, I found a note. It read, “My mom” across the top, followed by a series of fill-in-the-blank statements. My son completed each sentence, and the teacher wrote down what he said:

My mom is… 52 years old. Excuse me? I must have the wrong card, I thought. I closed it, turned it over and looked for confirmation. I reopened the card and read the next line. My mom looks pretty when… she wears her bicycle shirt. The card was definitely meant for me, since I often wear a tank top with an image of a bike on the front. “Oh, you like that shirt?” I asked, smiling lovingly at my little angel. He nodded and said he likes it because it’s sparkly. “How sweet,” I thought.

My mom likes to make… pizza. True. But I wondered if he also told the teacher how many Lean Cuisine frozen pizzas we consume each week. The next line read: My mom always says… be quiet. Ouch. Out of all the words that come out of my mouth, that’s what he remembers? “Glad to know I’m making a positive impression,” I muttered to my alter ego – the young, patient, healthy-cooking mom who wears a sparkly shirt every single day. Then, the last statement crushed alter-Angie into a thousand little pizza crumbs. My mom is funny when… well, she is never funny! I am never funny? Never? I realized I asked the question out loud. My son replied, “No, you’re not really that funny.”

When I shared this story with other moms, I learned this fill-in-the-blank greeting card has been around for years. On Facebook, a friend said her daughter’s “Recipe for Mom” included a “dash of mean.” And on my blog, one mom wrote, “My son made me a card at school, too. My mom knows a lot about was changed to: My mom does NOT know a lot about Star Wars.” Another mom shared, “It is too funny how kids see things. When my son was in first grade, he was staring at his teacher as she was eating some sort of ice cream in the lunchroom. When she asked him why he was staring at her, he replied that he had never seen a grown lady eat an ice cream before. The teacher asked, ‘Doesn’t your mom eat ice cream?’ to which he replied, ‘No, she’s always on a diet.’ ”

Back at home, my husband tried to defend my honor. “Son, the reason you don’t think your mom is funny is because you can’t read yet. She writes funny stories.” “What kind of stories?” my son asked, sounding intrigued. “A lot of them are about you,” my husband replied, baiting him. Then, my husband leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Then, my son smiled and looked at me. “Mommy, I give you content.”

“You do,” I said. “I’m never at a loss for things to write about.” Then he leaned over and whispered in his dad’s ear, “Daddy, what’s content?” *