Jenksie Edgeworth smiled strongly as she dropped her son Miller off at Camp St. Christopher on Seabrook Island. He’d be on his own for the first time.

The North Charleston mom was excited for her son and knew how much fun he’d have during his three days at the camp where she herself made memories every summer growing up. But it was still hard for her to leave him. She masked her feelings because she knew if he suspected she was nervous, it would upset him. She didn’t want him to get homesick after she left.

Edgeworth helped Miller get settled, hugged him tightly and told him to have a good time. She left six letters at the registration center – two for each day he’d be at camp – and drove away.

As soon as her car approached the gate to leave the property, she felt tears well up in her eyes.

Jennifer Gammon, 4-H Camp director in Summerton, says it’s common for parents to feel this way.

“A lot of times the parents have a more difficult time than the kids. Be strong for your child. Be that rock for them, and don’t let them know you are nervous at all. It can be hard.”

Gammon says every camper will experience homesickness in some way, but there are ways parents can help their children overcome homesickness.

“Everyone gets homesick – even the most secure and strong kids. I think during camp everyone has a moment when they start to think about other things and they get a 
little sad.”

What To Say

Beau Mongold, camp director at Camp Sewee in Awendaw, says it’s important to prepare your child for camp prior to going away.

“Discuss details about camp – including length, location, what kind of activities they’re going to do, what kind of people are going to be there. Really talk to them about it.”

He says to be sure to talk about the importance of independence and how being away from home can be a positive learning experience.

“Be honest. Don’t try to hide anything. Learning that independence skill is an important thing and not something we should shy away from.”

One mistake parents sometimes make is telling their child to call home if he gets homesick, or that they’ll pick him up. Calling home and talking to their parents only magnifies the homesickness.

“Those are real handicaps,” Mongold says. “If you give your first time camper – or really any camper – those handicaps … and when the campers have those kinds of things in their minds when they’re at camp it’s [difficult] for them to overcome the homesickness. If the experts – camp counselors – can help them work through it, get them engaged in the activities and excited about what we’re doing, that works much better than calling home and letting them talk to their parents. When parents set that up from the beginning, that’s the kind of thing that really makes it tough to deal with.”

Edgeworth talked to her son about homesickness before he went away to camp.

“I told him about my experience going to Camp St. Christopher when I was a child and about all the fun activities – and all the neat things – he’d be doing. I told him there’d be a nurse and a counselor, as well as many other adults around to go to if he needed anything and to take care of any problems.”

Her thoughts drifted back to her childhood summers at camp, and she used her own experiences to guide the conversation.

“I explained to him that sometimes kids get homesick and that’s OK. You might get homesick, but also be prepared that there might be a kid that might be crying or sad because he misses his mom or dad and wants to go home.”

And that happened. There were two boys in his cabin who were upset and wanted to go home. Miller felt bad for them and told them to be happy and have fun.

He ended up becoming best buddies with one of them.

Other Ways To Prepare

Gammon suggests visiting the camp property with your child before he attends camp to prepare him for the experience.

“A lot of times the property doesn’t look like it will during the summer because it’s not set up, but it can give the child a general idea of where they are going and how to be prepared.”

Parents should make sure their child is ready to go to camp; if he is still really scared after the initial visit, they might not want to send him to camp.

Another preparation suggestion is to send mail with or without goodies. Make sure letters are happy and upbeat and “reassure them that you love them and that you are happy that they are at camp. And they are doing way more fun things at camp then what’s going on at home.”

Gammon agrees with Mongold regarding phone calls and says it’s better to send mail.

“Sometimes hearing your voice upsets them and makes them homesick even if they weren’t before.”

She says another good idea is to send kids to camp with tokens from home, such as a favorite teddy bear or pillow. The child can hug it at night and feel more secure. It can also be a conversation starter with other campers: “Look at your really cool teddy bear. Where’d you get it?”

“Don’t ever let your child be embarrassed about bringing a stuffed animal to camp,” Gammon says. “I think it’s an awesome thing to do.”

She recommends allowing children to attend a lot of sleepover parties with more than one child so he gets used to sleeping in a room with a lot of kids and “learns what it’s like to not have your mom with you all the time.” Both parents and kids can learn to be independent from each other.

Another idea is to send your child to camp with a friend.

“Then they know someone and can use that other person to help make friends and build memories together.”

Now that Miller is 10, he is a seasoned pro when it comes to going away to summer camp. He says he missed his mom the first time he went and apologized for not using the stamped-addressed envelopes she’d left for him; he didn’t have the time or energy to write her back – he was simply too busy.

Miller is going again this summer for the third time and looks forward to seeing his friends. His favorite part of camp is what they call the mud pit. At low tide, all the campers go to a safe and debris-free area in the marsh. They slosh and roll in the mud and have mud fights, returning to their cabins covered head-to-toe in pluff mud. Their clothes and sneakers are tossed.

This is what camp is all about, Mongold says.

“Summer camp is all about fun. Yeah, you’re going to miss mom, but it’s all about overcoming fear and having a good time.”