Bucky Buchanan will never forget when a parent accused him of not caring about one of his students early in his teaching career.

Buchanan, who teaches physical education, health and Latin at University School of the Lowcountry, believes that open communication between parents and teachers are essential for student success and to maintain a healthy relationship.

“Communication is always important, whether it’s good or bad communication,” Buchanan says.

Buchanan says often times there is insufficient communication between parents and teachers and that could lead to misunderstanding, accusations and angry and confused parents.

“I’m there. I’m present. I’m open. I’m direct,” Buchanan says. “I would never say that I’ve not cared about a child.”

Buchanan says parents should not accuse teachers of not caring about their children.

“I believe it was one of those “this is not my child’s problems, but your problem with my child” sort of issues,” he says.

Ivy Kalik, guidance and wellness counselor at Ashley Hall, believes that teachers should have an open communication with their parents at all times.

“It is so important that parents know the expectations of the classroom, as well as the course curriculum,” she explains. “Most of the time issues can be handled directly with the teacher.  Parents should be willing to start with the classroom teacher instead of involving the administration from the beginning.  It is important to remain consistent at home and supportive of the homework expectations and classroom work.”

Parents also shouldn’t blame or talk badly about their teachers in front of their children, which often happens and leads to upset teachers.

“When children see parents blaming the teachers for too much work, unfair grades, not teaching the material well, they learn not to take responsibility for their education,” Kalik says.

Ricardo Robinson, sixth-grade social studies and English teacher at Sanders-Clyde Elementary/Middle School, agrees. He says undermining a teacher right in front of a child is improper.

“Sometimes a parent, who for some reason says there’s something they see in a teacher they don’t like or don’t agree with and they communicate that with their child, that puts the child on the same plain of field of their teacher,” he says. “If mom doesn’t like the teacher because the teacher is ugly that child now doesn’t have to listen to the teacher because he’s ugly.”

Another point many teachers expressed was that children are in a different environment at school than at home.

“That’s not my job,” Buchanan explains. “I’m not a parent. There’s a reason I’m not a dad. Sometimes parents can put a title or expectations on the teacher that can be embarrassing sometimes.”

It’s a nuisance when parents think that being a teacher is synonymous to being a parent, Buchanan says.

“Most of the time they [students] want to give you a hug. But it’s a business. It’s just a hug and move on; not hug and latch on,” he says. “The last thing you want to do is make something worse. Creating space and boundary is important.”

Savannah Williams, who teaches Spanish at Charleston Progressive Academy and at Montessori Community School of Charleston, agrees.

“I feel like I fuss a whole lot more because the kids expect me to be like their parents,” she says. “It’s more structure at school than at home.”

Another scenario that can occur is when parents hear one side of a story from the child and not hear the other side of the story from the teacher.

“Often parents get their children’s perception of issues at school and it is important to hear from the teacher and gather information before coming to any conclusions,” Kalik says.

Williams says if parents only hear one side of the story, they will often assume that the teacher is unfair to their child.

“I hate when parents assume that we are just out to get their child. Even if I had a problem with the child before, I start every day on a new foot,” Williams explains. “I’m not out to get your child like I want him to fail. It comes to a point where you don’t know what to expect.”

Kalik also stresses the importance of encouraging parents to be active in their children’s school.

“Parents need to stay involved and interested. Volunteer at school, make your prescience known in supportive ways at school. This encourage higher levels of achievement with the student,” she says. “When a parent is invested and supportive of their children’s school it sends a positive message  of community and educational importance.”

Robinson says parents can earn brownie points when they are involved in their children’s education.

“[When] they are actively participating or engaging in their children’s homework on a daily basis and having an understanding of their expectations and extending the classroom into the home,“ he says. “After-school time is not just for playing [and] making sure time out of school is not wasting time.”

Robinson believes teachers are frequently selfless and parents should always support their children in school.

He loves seeing his students mature over the years and witness their accomplishments. In fact, on his last day of teaching at a preschool, he cried.

“Teaching is very emotional.” *

Aya Khalil is a freelance journalist currently attending College of Charleston to obtain her M.Ed with a focus in teaching English as a second language.