Local author Kieran Kramer has finally come out of her shell. Her career as a romance novelist has taken off. At 46, she looks great – and feels better than ever.

She spent her 30s busy raising kids and taking care of her family. Her fashion style was casual, loose-fitting and comfortable. She never colored her hair. She lacked confidence and self-esteem – and always put herself last.

Kramer admits she let herself go.

Lizz Akerman, owner of Southern Protocol, a Charleston company offering event planning, manners lessons and image consulting, says this is very common and happens to many women after becoming parents.

“The biggest reason is the combination of the fact that we run out of time and we’re tired all the time. You don’t realize how much time children take until you have them.”

Before she had children, the then size 0 fashionista planned out her wardrobe for the next day – sometimes even for the entire week. But Akerman’s new life with kids underfoot has drastically changed the way she gets ready every day.

“When you have three children – tell me honestly – when am I going to do that? I can barely get the three of them dressed.”

Sara Hosch, executive assistant at Southern Protocol, says the economy affects families as well. Parents sacrifice not only time, but also money for their kids.

“Clients say, ‘When we have money I want my daughter who is in high school to have nice, new clothes. So instead of going out and buying something for myself I go out with her to the mall – she gets the designer jeans and I don’t.’”

Find your style, find yourself

When Kramer got a book deal with St. Martin’s Press, she found herself jet-setting to New York City for meetings and book promotions. Her new series, “The Impossible Bachelors,” releases this fall.

She knew it was time for a change.

Kramer colored her hair and added layers to give it some bounce. With the help of Southern Protocol, she went shopping for a few essential pieces. Her style is now “Southern chic.”

“I feel better about myself. If I’d have done it sooner, I might’ve believed in myself more.”

Akerman says moms need to find their self-esteem, “because you’re raising children – 
so you need to know who you are if you’re raising someone else.

“I have three children. My stomach is never going to be the same. I also have really big boobs, but I have skinny legs. I wear a shift dress or a tunic almost every day. It hides my baby belly, but it highlights the fact that I at least have skinny legs.”

Akerman says moms should find their authentic image – what looks best on them – and stock up.

“For me, in the winter it’s skinny jeans, ballet flats and a tunic. I have it eight different ways [both high-end and low-end]. I know that it looks good. It highlights my skinny legs. It covers up my belly and my chest.”

Akerman accessorizes with a big, chunky necklace – not a short one – because she has a rounder face.

“It’s finding the things that fit you and your style and reinterpreting that in different ways. That will make going to the closet a breeze.”

Dress by silhouette, not size

Akerman was a serious ballet dancer prior to having kids, and says even if you lose the weight, the shape of your body will never be the same.

“You have a whole closet of clothes that you’re like ‘Why isn’t this fitting me the same way?’ The scale is saying one thing but the fit of my clothes is saying another.”

She suggests wearing clothing that fits and to not dwell on the size.

“If you are an 8 and you try to squeeze into a 6, people are going to think you look bigger than you are because you’re popping out of everything. Whereas if you wear [the proper size], people will say, ‘Wow that is such a flattering outfit on her. She’s lost weight.’”

Go by silhouette. Find that one area of your body that you are really comfortable with and highlight it – and remember not every trend is for everybody.

“For example, harem pants are trendy, but they aren’t for everyone,” Akerman says. “You need to pinpoint what trends work for you.”

Layers, layers and color

Akerman wears a tank top under almost everything to smooth out her stomach.

“Layering underneath your shirts makes your silhouette look super smooth so you have clean lines.”

Any tank top will do; however, it is important it fit properly and not be too small. It doesn’t need to suck you in to be effective.

“You’d be shocked at what just a simple, cheap tank top … underneath your crisp white blouse will do. It automatically smoothes you out. Obviously the control top tanks really do a good job of that, especially if you’re wearing something fitted, but a regular tank top will work as well.”

Shauna Heathman, owner of Mackenzie Image Consulting, a local company which 
assists clients in developing “personal brands,” says wearing the color black is slimming, but don’t fall into the pattern of always wearing black.

When purchasing clothes, look at the placement of patterns on tops and bottoms and make sure they don’t fall in a trouble spot.

“When you look at a piece of clothing wherever your eye initially goes to, that’s what people are going to focus on.”

Find your favorite part and flaunt it

Instead of focusing on the negative and figuring out how to hide it, find the parts you do like and highlight them, Hosch says.

“For example, if you are a little more heavyset on the bottom but you have a really teeny waist try wearing a high-waisted skirt that kind of flares out in an a-line.”

If you have larger breasts don’t wear a plunging neckline, she says. Instead opt for something that brings the eye up to your collarbones.

Heathman suggests enlisting a trusted friend for advice.

“It’s not a bad idea to get an outside, objective opinion. We’re just so close with ourselves, sometimes we can’t always see us in the mirror.”

No more writing in her PJs

Kramer’s learned a lot through her transformation and understands how other moms feel, but she says she’s now at ease and confident in other parts of her life because she knows she looks professional.

Though she does pay full price for some items, Kramer is able to find quality pieces at lower-end stores – and no one knows the difference.

To save money, she went through her closet and took what she already had to a tailor to customize and update them.

“Put yourself first and don’t feel guilty about it. We feel so guilty about everything. Stop complaining about your body – there are clothes that will look good on you. Be proud of your curves. My motto is ‘love your body, love yourself.’” *