For Marisa Nava, it was the cake.

Every year for her birthday, she always looked forward to it usually it was made of yummy ice cream.

She wanted to pass down the same excitement she felt as a little girl to her own daughter.

So, for Isabella's second birthday, she and her husband Ricardo got her an Elmo cake.

"The cake scared her. She thought Elmo was on fire."

Nava, a clinical psychologist in Mount Pleasant, says although birthday parties are fun and expected it's important for families to get back to basics and celebrate what a birthday really means.

"I think when parents spend quality time doing things alone with their child outside of the party setting, it gives them some time to appreciate the real meaning behind what their birthday is outside of all the material things."

Plus she says kids enjoy traditions, and like to do different and unique things with their family that maybe other people might not do.

Last year, Isabella had a party complete with balloons and Dora and the scary Elmo cake, but they made sure they celebrated together as a family.

The family spent the special day together at the park.

"For her, I wanted to do what we always did and make sure at least we have some special time set aside we're just spending with her to celebrate that it's her day."

Making memories

Nava says it's important for children to have a part in deciding what they do during a special time whether for their birthday or at other times.

"I think a lot of parents feel they spend a lot of time with their children, but sometimes it's helpful to label it as "special time" and let them plan activities, even if just for a brief period, like for a 15-minute activity."

She suggests for a birthday, let kids think of a creative/special activity such as decorating cookies or a cake or planning the dinner menu.

"Children can't decide a lot of things and have most of their days planned for them, so it's nice to feel like they have some decisions to make."

Cora Kline, 6 and a half, of Goose Creek has a lot of decisions to make when her birthday rolls around.

A week before her birthday her mother Kym takes her to a local embroidery shop and lets her design her own birthday T-shirt. Last year it said "Cora is 6 today" and Cora picked out the balloons, colors and type of lettering.

Cora plans her own birthday party as well. She has important responsibilities, such as planning the invitation list and choosing her cake.

But Cora's actual birthday is more intimate. Only the family and her best friends go out to dinner her choice of restaurant.

She likes to go to a Japanese restaurant and watch the chefs cook her dinner. After dinner, she and her friends stand up in their chairs and do the chicken dance.

They take a group picture every year.

"It's neat to lay the pictures out side by side and see how much the kids have changed over the years," Kym Kline says.

But that's not all.

Half birthdays?

The Klines also celebrate half birthdays.

Cora likes to count down to it, and always asks, "Is it my half birthday yet?"

On half birthdays, Cora and her little brother, Collin, get a gift and the family goes out to dinner together.

On Cora's latest half birthday, her father Gary secretly brought her a cake. Half birthdays are an excuse to eat cake, he says. When they offered cake or ice cream she chose ice cream.

"So we saved the cake for after she went to bed that night and then we ate the cake," Kym Kline says. "But we gave her the balloon topper from it."

She says she and Gary want to make wonderful memories for their children it's not all about the birthday party.

"It's not something that either of us had growing up. Birthdays were never really that big of a deal. It's just one of the things that when we got together and had kids that we wanted to change. We wanted her to have more happy memories than what we have so she can take it to her kids."

For Collin's first birthday, the Klines had a bib made especially for him. This year Cora is already making plans for his second birthday T-shirt design.

What to wear, what to eat

Julia Sampson of Charleston wants to teach her children that birthdays aren't just about presents as well.

"Throughout the year they don't lack for anything. We make sure our kids are satisfied. They always get toys, so birthday time is really just a time to celebrate them growing and learning new things."

Sampson says they don't focus on the party.

"We do a lot of family stuff."

Birthdays are very special to her. Julia and her husband Joe share the same birthday. And her mother and daughter also were born on the same day.

"So for us birthdays have always been really fun for us to do different things."

One special family tradition is that Joe measures his son, Joe, 5, every year on

his birthday.

"Joe Joe loves that and to see how he's grown and is a big boy."

And both kids get to choose a special birthday outfit to wear to school. Last year, 21-month-old Jorden was a princess and wore a tutu all day. Sampson will save the outfits, even frame last year's.

And on their birthdays the kids are allowed to eat anything they want.

"They get to pick their own breakfast, lunch and dinner, so sometimes we're eating some crazy stuff but it makes them happy."

It's a time to celebrate growing and getting bigger.

"You want them to know the importance of being with family," Sampson says. "It's not always about the presents. Birthday times are another way to celebrate life with close family and friends all they've learned from the previous year."